No Matter What
by Shepherd of the stars
Summary: Alfred is insecure about his clipped wings and while he tries his best to hide it, he can only do so for so long. But just like every single day since the incident, Ivan has been by his side.


Rusame Secret Santa 2017 gift for the-americanmeme! Wishes were a combination of 1. Fluff (can turn to smut) but like fluff and sweet things, 2. Possessive Ivan (any rating), 3. Russia x America, and vague wish: A fantasy au. Based off their amazing wingtalia au and their artwork where Ivan was giving Alfred a little smooch! There is also an artwork I drew to pair it with.

PS: A few of my keys are sticky (mostly r, t, and g) so hopefully I don't make too many typos!

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It's been a year since Alfred's clipping incident and while a couple feathers have gown back, his wings remained short stumps. He's tried joking about it, saying that having no wings meant he didn't have to spend hours cleaning them, or how he could run faster without all the weight he had to carry, but at the end of the day, it was all just a lie.

His wings were part of his identity, part of who he was, and they were stolen from him, ripped and chopped off his back as he bled on the ground. No matter how hard he tried to get away, they still caught him and beat him until he could only feel the pulsing pain in his limbs. Despite his pride, he had begged for mercy, but it was not given to him.

Whatever had happened during the last days of his capture, he could not remember. All he remembered was opening his swollen eyes and seeing his rival's tear-stained face, and his voice shaking as he apologized for not being able to come sooner. After that, Ivan had nursed him back to health. Not once did he raise his voice, for it would make Alfred cower and tremble, and every touch was so gentle it felt like a ghost.

In that time, they had grown closer to each other. They developed a relationship that some might call love, not that Alfred would ever say it in public. He loved Ivan, really, but the amount of affection the snowy owl gave him when they were in public was so much that it always left him a flustered mess. He would very much prefer to keep their affections at home but Ivan always had other plans.

"I don't know why you brought me here." Alfred crossed his arms as he and his lover walked side by side through the clear fields. Above, he could hear people laughing and playing as they chased each other and enjoyed their day in the beautiful sun.

It was a popular spot for all winged creatures to hang out: a vast open field, a cliff a short walk away, and the shimmering ocean right next to it. Most everyone who could fly were taught to fly right here. It was no wonder Alfred seemed grumpy.

"You've been inside the house for too long. Like you are trying to glue yourself to the chair." Ivan had his wings folded neatly behind his back and his hands at his side. 'No hand holding!' Alfred had told him, so he obeyed.

"Well I was doing something, okay! I was reading my book and you just dragged me out here. Can we go back now?" Alfred was a tad uncomfortable. Seeing everyone flying around and spreading their wings out wide reminded him that he had none.

The phantom pain was back again and he felt a dull ache at the base of his wings. They returned every time he was reminded of the incident that caused him to lose them.

Instead of answering him, Ivan gave him a pat on the head and bent down to pick a daisy out of the grass. With a cute smile, he tucked it behind Alfred's ear and took a step back to admire it. "You look beautiful, love."

Alfred pouted and let Ivan enjoy it for a second more before he shook his head like a wet dog, messing up his hair again and making the flower fall to the ground. "Don't treat me like a girl."

"Showing affection for the love of my life does not mean I am treating you like a girl." Ivan took hold of Alfred's hand and gave him a gentle kiss on the knuckles only to have Alfred rip his hand away right after.

"Ivan!" he hissed, "Not in public! It's embarrassing. I have my pride, you know." His cheeks were already tinted a bit pink from the gesture and to hide it, he kept walking forward.

Too many times this has been brushed off and frankly, it was beginning to hurt Ivan. With a couple flaps, he was able to fly up and over Alfred, landing right in his path with his arms crossed. "We need to talk."

"About what?"

"Our relationship."

"Can it wait? We're in public."

"That's what I want to talk about." Ivan reached forward to take Alfred's hand but he had pulled it away, looking around at all the people in the park. "Are you ashamed of me?"

Alfred's eyes widened as he looked his boyfriend up and down to see if he was serious. "No! Of course not. I just- There's so many people here and you never know how some people will react, you know? And it's bad enough that I'm the only one in the whole flock without wings, I don't want everyone to know that…" He wouldn't meet Ivan's eyes, rubbing his elbow nervously.

"You're insecure." Ivan watched Alfred until he saw the tiniest nod. "Alfred, if I could, I would go back in time and kill those hunters before they even got the chance to lay eyes on you. But what's happened has already happened. No one can change that. You have to learn to accept it and live with it, as harsh as it sounds."

"I have!"

"You haven't. You are only hiding it. I don't care about your wings, I still love you for you. And many others feel the same way. Those who don't aren't important enough for you to care about. You're the most perfect person I could ever encounter and to be able to hold you in my arms is the best gift anyone has ever given me." He reached for Alfred's hands again and this time, Alfred let him take it. "Alfred, I love you. All that time I spent fighting with you in the past, I wish I could take it back, for it was due to my confusion over my feelings. You had such passion, a burning flame, and I wanted it to burn for me, but I didn't know that it was love, not loathing.

"I would do anything to prove my love for you. I would fly up into the sky and rob the stars from the heavens, so you would feel closer to them. I would sacrifice years of my lifespan to yours, so you could be alive and well for much longer. I would dump every gem into the ocean, so they do not shine brighter than your eyes. Anything, Alfred. I would even seek the hunters and have my wings ripped off as well to suffer your pain so I could better understand it and be able to aid you."

"No!" Alfred cut him off. He made Ivan let go of his hands so he could warp his arms around Ivan's torso. "Don't say that… And don't you dare do that either! You don't deserve to go through that pain. No one does. It was my fault. I made them mad and I had to suffer the consequences so I'm the only one who deserves that."

"Alfred, those hunters were worse than demons. They were spiteful, petty, and easily angered, and you didn't deserve any of that pain. You deserve all that is good in the world and I will do whatever I can to help you obtain it. I know it will be hard to forget those men, but you cannot let them haunt you. They are gone now. And I am here. I will protect you. And I would give me life for you."

Gentle hands combed through blond hair and moved down until they rested on Alfred's shoulders, then he leaned forward and placed a chaste kiss on his jaw, his forehead, his nose, his cheeks, and finally, his lips. With each kiss, Alfred's frown edged up into a smile, and in that moment, he felt like the two of them were enclosed in their own little world where no one could judge them.

"Hey, mollies!" Alfred flinched when the aggressive voice pulled him back to reality. "If you're lookin' for a place to fuck, there are some rocks over there!" The intruder laughed as he pointed his finger over at the jagged rocks by the cliff.

It was the goose brothers. Thieves, bullies, and always eager to pick a fight with anyone and everyone. They were the outcasts in the flock and as retaliation, they took their anger out by harassing the others.

"Leave now or you will regret it." Ivan said in a calm and eerily cheerful voice. His arms tightened around Alfred's body while Alfred looked the other way. This was why he didn't want to be affectionate with Ivan in public and he could already feel a lump forming in his throat.

"Don't think so." The eldest goose brother took a step forward, chest puffed and wings ruffled. "This is the flight park so you and your flightless boy toy should be the ones going home. You don't belong here, and I bet the only reason he is still here is 'cuz he sucked off the leaders of the flock as a favor so he co-"

The goose never got to finish his sentence. Ivan's hand had shot forward and gripped his neck so hard he was struggling to breathe while his other hand kept his hold on Alfred's head. "Go on. Love to hear what you have to say."

The idiot goose didn't back down, his hands prying Ivan's hand apart just enough so he could speak. "You and your bitch are tainting the park. Better get out before I pluck the rest of his feathers."

Ivan's composure finally cracked, his talons sprouting out of his fingers and slashing the goose across the shoulder so fast he didn't get a chance to stop him. "I will rip you apart limb from li-"

"Ivan stop!" Alfred stared wide-eyed at Ivan's hand as blood and a small chunk of flesh dripped off talons sharp enough to kill. "You said it yourself. These people don't matter. If you kill them, you'll be banished. I don't want to lose you." Alfred's wavering voice kept at a whisper as if the brothers didn't deserve to hear what he said.

Seeing his lover's tear stained face, Ivan wiped the blood off on the goose's tunic and slowly retracted his hand.

"Cryba- ugh!" He was quickly shut up when the joint of Ivan's wing slammed into his neck and knocked him to the ground.

Ivan ruffled his wings and wrapped them around Alfred protectively as if he had done nothing wrong. "We'll 'talk' later." The look in his eyes made it a promise, and finally, knowing they wouldn't win this fight, the brothers fled.

(-w-)

"I'm sorry."

"It's okay… You were just defending me and those idiots deserved it. It's just," Alfred sat down on the bed in their shared home and patted the spot next to him so Ivan could join him. "I saw the blood and it reminded me of…" he gnawed at his lip.

"I know." Ivan sat down in the bed with him, pulling him into his lap. "And that's my fault. I should have controlled myself better. They just… They made me so angry…"

"If I was in your position, there'd be three dead geese." Alfred forced out a chuckle, making Ivan crack a smile. A moment of silence later, the two shared a long, slow kiss while Alfred moved to straddle him. "Can I make a confession?"

Ivan's eyes flickered up and down Alfred's body to try and read his mood then shrugged. It didn't seem like he was in an upset mood, and he was a bit curious.

"I actually kinda liked it. You defending me, that is." he clarified when he say Ivan's confused face. "Showed you actually cared about me enough to protect me even if it was three against two."

"I would have done the same if there were a hundred more of them." Ivan's hand stroked up and down Alfred's back, drawing the other closer to his body. He liked it better when they were in the privacy of their own home. Here, Alfred didn't hide his affections, and he didn't push Ivan's away.

"I would fight along with you." Alfred's hands rubbed Ivan's broad shoulders before reaching behind him to stroke his soft, gray feathers.

"Well," Alfred let out a squeak when Ivan flipped him onto his back, the larger body loomed over him and caged him in, "don't you think I should get a reward, then?"

Alfred laughed at his cheesiness then gave him a flirty look. "If you want it, you'll have to take it." And Alfred knew that any time he wanted to stop, he could just say so and Ivan would listen. Though right now, he had no plans to.

A soft gasp left his lips when Ivan rolled his hips forward, their tunics doing very little to contain the heat. Very quickly, heated kisses were trailing his neck and the bottom of his tunic being lifted so Ivan could tug his underwear off his hips.

"You get more lube?" Ivan asked between kisses.

"Yea- ahh…" Alfred's legs twitched when Ivan grabbed hold of his cock and gave it a firm stroke. His hand blindly groped at the nightstand, digging into the drawer. "But next time, you get it. It's a pain in the ass trying to sneak it."

"And you will have a pain in the ass if you don't get this lube- geh!" Ivan pouted when he was given a light smack on the head for his joke. "Alright fine, I'll get it next time." He rubbed the spot where Alfred had bopped him before taking the glass vial that Alfred finally found.

"No more talking." He sat up for a second to quickly throw off his tunic, laying bare in front of Ivan. "Come on, please." He wrapped his arms around Ivan's neck and pulled him down, legs spread. "Hurry up or I'll do it myself."

And how could Ivan say no?

(-w-)

"Oh fuck…" Alfred let out a groan as he clung to his lover's back. No matter how many times they've done this, Ivan always seemed to stretch him so much it stung. But Ivan always waited for Alfred's word before he started moving. "G…go…"

His breath hitched as he felt it pull out to the head before slowly slipping back into him. Eyes lidded and rolling back, he moaned and tried to keep his breathing even as Ivan started his steady pace. He could feel the thick length stroking his walls and his skin tugging and pushing from his movements. His legs wrapped around Ivan's hips and pulled him closer to his body, using it as leverage to meet him at every thrust.

The pace proved too slow for the needy blond and it wasn't long before he whimpered for "more," and Ivan was happy to give him just that. With a hand firmly hooked on his shoulder, Ivan quickened his pace. His hips slapped against Alfred's rounded ass and jiggled each time he hit it. It was something he'd never tire of seeing.

"You look beautiful." he breathed, watching his lover writhe and moan under him. The pretty eagle's body rocked with every forward motion and he could barely keep his eyes open from the overwhelming pleasure.

Ivan's compliment barely made it to Alfred's ears as the sounds of their love-making drowned it out. Alfred's face and shoulders flushed red and he quickly shoved his wrist in his mouth to quiet himself and save himself from the shame. He let Alfred have his few seconds of hiding before leaning down to give the wrist a kiss and removing it from his mouth. "Let me hear you."

Alfred was hesitant at first but when Ivan hit that spot in him, he threw his had back and let out a throaty moan. He hissed though gritted teeth, still trying to contain his embarrassing noises but Ivan gripped his hips and thrust himself into him over and over until he finally drew out those beautiful sounds.

With his mouth hanging open, Alfred moaned out Ivan's name and a string of curses with his hands fisting the sheets so tight they were close to ripping between his nails. Never once did he think about asking him to stop, only looking at Ivan with lust glazed eyes and silently begging him to fuck him harder, faster, and don't even think about stopping.

"I-Ivan!" Alfred's hand shot out to take hold of Ivan's wrist, trying to move it towards the stiff and leaking erection between their bodies. "Oh god, I'm close." he whimpered in his ear, his breathing becoming more rapid and sharp.

He had only stroked Alfred a couple times before his entire body stiffened and his breathing caught in his throat. Alfred felt a warmth on his belly as he spurts out his load and slowly, his body began to fall limp. But Ivan wasn't done just yet. He slowly thrust himself in the trembling and twitching body before finally filling the tightened caverns with his seed.

They stayed still for some time, slowly catching their breaths and letting their tired hands explore each other's heated bodies. As Ivan pulled out, he was met with some resistance. Alfred's walls clung to him and he let out a shaky gasp when the thick length was slowly pulled out and he was left empty. He reached a hand down and pressed his fingers against his slickened hole then gave a flirty look to Ivan.

"Surprised I'm not gaping, baby."

"I'm not that big." Ivan said with a snort, grabbing a cloth from the drawer to clean them up. He wiped off every trace of cum and lube until they both were clean before laying down beside Alfred. He had one of his wings covering Alfred like a blanket while the other was draped off the side of the bed.

"Hey, Ivan?" Alfred peeped after a long time of comfortable silence

"Hmm?"

"I love you."

Ivan opened his eyes and glanced down to meet his lover's sparkling blues. It was like he could see the sky in them without ever having to step foot out of their home and Ivan knew that he would give everything to be with Alfred. Even his wings. Who needed flight when looking into Alfred's face made his heart soar much higher than anyone could ever go?

"I love you too, Alfred."


End file.
